Welcome to another OddLearning post!
I dedicate this post to moms as myself, with their world full of constant learning, effort, planning routines that are impossible to follow, feeling physically beaten, having to care for the emotional needs of everyone around them but themselves, always putting up a strong face showing their limitless love to their children.
All moms go through this, but when you have anxiety on top of it…well it is not pretty.
Some days are better than others, but at times when our anxiety is triggered we can become defensive, angry moms that yell and although we are aware we are having a meltdown, we can’t control it.
The worst part is that something small and innocent can make us feel our world is falling apart, and our children suffer with us.
The feeling of not being able to control our anxiety and the guilt of venting out towards our kids torments us everyday.
The only reason we try to improve an we cope is because at the end of the day we know how special it is when our little one tells us “I love you mommy”.
As you know anxiety could be caused by many factors; genetic, environmental, risk factors which include a history of child abuse, family mental disorders, and poverty.
Most of the women that developed anxiety said it started with postpartum depression, and it remained for years.
You probably also know that anxiety could improve if one seeks help, but its hard to do so when someone depends on you 24/7.
So what are the reasons Mothers Anxiety Develops or Worsens?
1 – The need to protect their children.
As moms, we want our children to be safe, when they fall and get hurt we are the ones to overreact (kids are sturdy) but it’s because it hurts us seeing our kids in pain, we want to keep those smiles on their faces as long as we can, we call it “maternal instinct” and as awesome as it sounds and is, it’s actually a state of constant anxiety and worry so we can be alert of our surroundings making sure there are no threats or dangers.
I admire that, is as if we get a super power to protect our loved ones, but it has a price.
Although moms can do everything that needs to be done, it doesn’t mean it’s healthy for them.
Some have to work and study or both and still care for their children and their household.
Even if a mother does not work, it doesnt mean its easy cleaning the home with never ending tasks and hours spent, but with kids, it looks as if one didn’t do a thing.
Would you look at that pile of clothes! It has been there for a week?
No sweetheart, that’s todays laundry.
Help your children clean their stuff for 2 hours…takes them 2 minutes to spread their toys again.
Our brains are full of things to do and as soon as we finish one task, 3 more are added to the list, anxiety levels rise very quickly.
3 -Not being able to rest properly.
Once kids hit the bed we use that moment to do everything we couldn’t and gather our thoughts for what we need to do the next day, and unfortunately once we are ready to sleep, our brain isn’t, 90% of Mothers with anxiety also have Insomnia, which is always related to stress induced anxiety.
If you would like to know of how to treat your Insomnia naturally, we have a post dedicated to it, feel free to check out our link below!
4 – Selflessness.
Since children become the priority of all moms, it’s easy to forget to care for oneself, it can be isolating and depressing, it becomes hard to socialize.
Forget about buying something for yourself, you always think of your children first, Its very hard to find equilibrium and you learn to live feeling tired.
If you feel this way and there is any possibility you could have sometime for yourself. please take it!
Anxiety is a clear result from forgetting to take care of oneself.
You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of others.
5 – Future worries.
Most of them are things we can’t control.
Health – The thought of our children getting sick. Of course they will get sick but its never easy to see your child in pain.
Money – Whether we like it or not money can provide us for things we need for our families, the need to constantly provide and at time being unable to do so is always in the back of our minds.
There is an infinite list of things that can cause worries about the future, all related to make sure our children are safe and have what they need.
What do you think?
Can you relate or can you understand someone you know better?
Now that we explained the causes, I rather share some thoughts for all the mommies feeling overwhelmed, you are not alone and you are doing your best.
- Moms, start trusting yourself, because you are amazing and you are doing a great job, trust life and trust your children, they will figure it out just as you did, I know how having a tough childhood makes you even more conscious and overprotective but think about this, they have YOU! And you are doing everything you can, so don’t be too harsh on yourself.
- If you let your anger out on your children make sure to apologize once you calmed down, explain to them that Mommy can feel sad as well but that you love them no matter what.
- Don’t forget to enjoy every day, the good and the bad, children grow so fast, they might drive you crazy at times but in the end they are yours, you are raising them and they love YOU!
- Alway support you children. You are teaching and giving the tools for their future. You have to believe in them, you are their strength and weakness, encourage them, and always show them and tell them you love them no matter what. Instead of material things, don’t forget to teach them how important it is to be themselves, that’s the greatest thing you can do as a mom. Don’t let things you can’t control trigger you, it takes time but is possible!
- As we just mentioned, don’t be apprehensive trying to control everything, many things are out of our control, including all the times our children will fall, as long as you are there to help them up don’t stress about the rest.
- Keep calm and don’t be afraid to seek counseling, everything can become overwhelming, but if you keep all of this tension in your body not only you are making yourself sick, but you might end up unleashing through anger at your child, hurting you bond and trust.
- Don’t put more pressure on yourself, let your children learn and explore, you don’t need to have all the answers, so don’t get anxious because of it.
- Don’t forget about yourself, as impossible as it seems you need a break so don’t be afraid to ask for help, let someone you trust care for your child and go have some coffee with a friend, or go for a walk, find a way to clear and relax your mind. You need it to function properly! And caring for yourself also means caring for your children, they need their mom to be strong and healthy.
- Remember that children reflect their parents behaviors, so the more relaxed and happy you are the more they will be as well, specially with young kids, since they are brutally honest. If you need your own time out explain it to your children, you need that space whenever is possible.
- You need to communicate your emotions to your children, a mistake we make is saying we are fine when we are not. Letting them know sets a boundary reminding them we are humans as well, mommie has feelings, we won’t tend to their every need and asking for some time alone is perfectly fine. Just don’t be rude or harsh, so they don’t feel you don’t care or love them anymore.
All moms are amazing, coping with anxiety but still doing everything, so if you are mom struggling with anxiety please start caring for your health, seek help if you need it, find ways to relax and things to enjoy, there’s nothing wrong with wanting space, and give yourself some credit! Most of our anxiety is caused because we want to be perfect, we want everything to go smoothly but with kids… everything is unexpected, so go with the flow, show them you love them but don’t forget to love yourself.
And when i talked about moms i meant all!
We hope you enjoyed our post!
We would love to read your thoughts and experiences in the comments, so feel free to do so! 😀
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