Hey guys welcome to another OddLearning post
Normally Arlet (admin) writes the Health and Family posts but, this time, I will write one from the perspective of the child-teenager.
I think at least once growing up we wondered:
- Why can’t our elders understand us?
- Why do they blame it on our age
- Why do I have to feel guilty for having emotions?
- Should I be ashamed of giving importance to “silly” things?
I might be over 20 and a parent but I still question some, and remind myself to:
be the person I needed.
Every time you feel conflicted and cannot understand your kids, ask yourself:
“Who did i need?” “What did I need at that age?”
you will get the answer to support your children.
Still, I will give you some examples to keep in your thoughts next time you don’t know how to handle a situation.
- Never tell them they are “too young” to understand – That belittles their feelings.
- If you do not take them seriously when they are young, they won’t trust you in the future.
- If they get hurt, pay attention their injuries, no matter the size.
- They are not whining, they are kids and you are their parent, they rely on you when they are vulnerable so don’t mock them.
- If you are too strict, they will be sneaky. What other choice do they have?
- For teenagers:
- Most don’t have a high self esteem, so don’t make it worse.
- Around 1 in 5 struggles with mental illnesses, do not blame their emotions on puberty.
- Self-harm is not a trend, there is something wrong and they need your support.
- Yelling and accusing them of doing something dumb will isolate them more.
- They might be bright and accomplished, but they can be further away from having a reason to live.
- Grades aren’t everything. And if they are dropping ask them, do not assume things.
- I want to share more for this one. I was a great student, the top of my class, always got scores 9/10 – 10/10. I had a friend, he could barely make it every semester. So one time he asked me to help him, his grades went up, not a whole lot but when we had a parent teacher meeting his mom hugged him and he cried because he did “better”, she even went and hugged me as well. She told him he still sucked but he could improve, they were laughing happily on their way out. As for me…it was a bitter path to my home, my father would never go to meetings, I had to take my results to this intimidating man for approval. The only thing I wanted to hear was “you did great” but I would always hear “I want 11s” “You could do better”, if I ever took an 8/10 I would have to be ready for an hour lecturing of how my studies needed to improve.
- What do you think my father’s comments did to me and my brother? We always had this empty feeling that no matter what we did, no matter how perfect, accomplished, recognized we were….we were never good enough…Years have passed, do you think I can talk comfortably with my father?
- They are them and you are yourself. Let them choose their path and write their own story, do not plan their future. It’s theirs for a reason.
- It might be your house, but respect their space. Everyone needs privacy and a place of their own. Telling them they live under your roof and rules will drive you further apart.
- If your child asks you for a day off, they are not being lazy. They also have those days when life doesn’t give them a break so you should.
- If they are struggling with Depression do not call them lazy or useless. Help them.
- The internet isn’t filled with only predators. Yes, their only support can be with friends they have never met.
- Take them seriously
- If they screw up, be patient.
- Sometimes things get out of hand and there is yelling, screaming and crying, that’s fine, as long as you remember to tell them you love them.
I hope these tips help you out. If you would like for us to continue bringing this type of posts please let us know.
As parents we are constantly learning, no one has it figured out and no one will, we can only try and do our best.
So do your best, love your kids and trust each other. You can do it!
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